The first time I met with a therapist, our personalities were so jarringly different—she was brash; I was overly sensitive—that I cried the entire session. I didn't go back, and was turned off from looking for a replacement for years.
Just like with any relationship, a therapist and client won't always be an ideal match—which can prevent you from feeling safe and seeing results. With that in mind, I asked a handful of mental-health professionals for signs that it's time to break up with your therapist. Among their most intriguing points:
- A dismissive attitude is unacceptable. If your therapist shrugs off your experiences of racism, sexism, ableism, fatphobia, or homophobia, it's time to move on. You’re not obligated to provide any explanation, though a debrief could prove valuable to the practitioner.
- The focus should be on you. It's surprisingly common for therapists to spend sessions talking about themselves. If this happens to you, try saying: “Would it be OK if we focused more on me, rather than what’s going on in your life?”
- They shouldn't be dishing out unsolicited advice. Instead, they should be helping you reach your own conclusions about what's best for you, and give you the tools to figure out a path forward.
